The Tattoo

[deadeye_shot]

Riza feels sweat beading on her upper lip despite the chill air. She shivers in the dark, clutching her jacket more tightly around herself.

She's nervous.

In Ishval, she asked Roy to burn her, to destroy the evidence of the tattoo condemning her to be a notebook for her father's Flame Alchemy. She wants to be free of those chains. She wants the secret to die with Roy. She wants Flame Alchemy to never again harm another person.

She can't always get what she wants, but in this case... Roy promised to burn her.

So she waits outside the isolated Hawkeye homestead--now even more dilapidated than it was when she was living there--for him to arrive. There are no neighbors to hear her scream.

Comments

[troublesome_alchemist]

"I promised." He can't say 'you're welcome', because that is a damned lie, and he can't lie with that smell in his nose, that tackiness on his lips. "Let me just get these dressed. They'll... they'll still scar, but you don't need infection on top of it."

[deadeye_shot]

"I don't mind scars," Hawkeye mumbles, clutching his coat in her closed fists.

Why didn't she bring clean sheets? Or try to clean the room beforehand? What about loose-fitting clothes? She'll have to don her turtleneck over the burns, a thought which makes her want to vomit all over again. Riza truly did not think this night through. She wanted that tattoo gone, and didn't think about the consequences of dealing with burns. That's unlike her.

But when she focuses on Roy's face as he dresses her wounds, trying not to cry out or twitch under his warm, gentle touch, she feels guilt threaten to consume her. It pools in her belly, and reaches its icy fingers up to strangle her heart. Pressure builds in her chest, and tears prick her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs. "You didn't deserve this."

[troublesome_alchemist]

His hands hesitate for a moment, an unintentional Morse code of emotional turmoil.

"No." He agrees, finally, his hands resuming their duty, picking up their surety once again. "I deserve punishment worse than this."

On that, at least, he agrees whole-heartedly.

"I have some pain-killers here, but they're... well, they're very strong. I wouldn't recommend taking them unless it's truly unbearable." They're effective, he knows that much, but he's seen a few too many soldiers become unable to stop taking them to be entirely comfortable with their use.

[deadeye_shot]

She starts to sit up and protest that, her neck jerking upwards, but settles down when the movements pull on her burns underneath the bandages. "If you do, so do I," Hawkeye says, her words firm and implacable despite the breaths she keeps having to suck over teeth.

She pauses, wondering if now is the time to tell him. Wondering if she wants to put her heart on the line. "I forgive you," she says instead, feeling her heart pound behind her teeth. "Though there's nothing to forgive; I wanted this."

So much talking leaves her exhausted, and she closes her eyes.

[troublesome_alchemist]

"Shhh, you should rest." Forgiveness feels... unreal. Something for other people. Something he can't even aspire to, never mind accept.

But saying so would be hurtful, and he's done enough harm. He's not entirely sure he's ever going to stop hearing her screams.

[deadeye_shot]

"I can't, I have something else to say," Riza insists, opening her eyes. She doesn't try to sit up again, having learned her lesson, but she does reach out to take his hand, if he lets her.

She feels a calmness pass over her mind. She may have the worst timing in the world, but she has to say something. She plans to become his subordinate in Eastern, soon, and if she doesn't say it now, she'll never get the opportunity again.

"I love you. I love you, Roy Mustang. And I forgive you.."

[troublesome_alchemist]

Well, that's...

Unexpected.

Like a sniper's shot, and with similar effect. Mustang sits down hard, for the moment ignoring the thought that disturbing the floorboards too much probably isn't a fantastic idea. Roy Mustang has liked his master's daughter from the moment he met her.

He's loved her for nearly as long.

He's been turned down, effectively, for as long as he felt free to ask.




"Oh." It's... stunned, really. He doesn't not believe her, he's never known Riza to tell anything but the truth. He just... never expected to hear it, at this point.

[deadeye_shot]

Riza didn't know what she expected, but it wasn't this. She lifts her head and cranes her neck to see him sitting on the floor, ignoring the shooting pains raking their way down her back like claws. "Sir?" she says reflexively, falling back on formalities without thinking about it. "S--Roy, are you all right?"

[troublesome_alchemist]

"Lie down, you'll hurt yourself." Mustang replies, distracted from his own shock to make sure she doesn't worsen her own injuries. "I'm fine."

[deadeye_shot]

Satisfied that he's all right, she obeys his instructions, resting her head on his coat again. It's a shame that they can't act on her confession; he's a Lieutenant Colonel of the Amestrian army, and her superior officer. The fraternization laws prevent--and will likely always prevent, as she doesn't think either of them will drop out of the army--them from being together.

The smell of her burned flesh brings her back to the present moment. She watches his face. "Now what?" she whispers, almost scared of the answer. Like the burns, she did not think her confession through--something completely unlike her normal self. His reaction threw her.

[troublesome_alchemist]

"Now we continue on." Somewhere out in this world, Roy is sure, Maes is absolutely furious and has no idea why. However, nothing changed when Roy was in love with Riza. Nothing can change, significantly, now that they are in love with each other.

Perhaps once, and maybe in the future, but now?

"Is your back alright?"

[deadeye_shot]

"It... hurts, but I'll be all right," Hawkeye says, biting her lip. It's a truth that he already knows, but she'd rather not admit that he hurt her.

The thought that Roy might not still love her doesn't even occur to her. She can see the tenderness in his eyes, tenderness he'll have to hide in the open. "I'm planning to be transferred to Eastern. As your subordinate. If you'll have me."

He might not want her that close. It's a risk Riza is willing to take.

[troublesome_alchemist]

"If I'll have you? I'd have to be either an idiot or concussed to not want the Hawk's Eyes on my side." If he thought for even a fraction of a second the option to this was retirement, he'd leap for it. He knows this isn't the case.

[deadeye_shot]

Riza smiles softly, almost shy. "And your dreams?" she asks quietly. "Do you still want to change the world?"

It's what she's always admired most about him. His confession of his ambitions at her father's graveside planted the seed of love, and changed her life. It was because of that confession that she joined the military, to follow him.

[troublesome_alchemist]

"One day I will be Fuhrer." It's said with conviction, even his exact plan on how to get there is... shaky at best. It's probably better she's asking now, than a week or so ago.

Maes had to do some ass kicking. Thankfully, he's pretty good at that.

[deadeye_shot]

"Then you'll have me," Riza says, with just as much conviction. It's a double-sided promise: he'll have her help on the way to becoming Fuhrer, and he'll have her after he becomes Fuhrer, and the fraternization laws are disbanded, as she has no doubt he'll do.